Relief from no Release

                  Are you the type of woman whose orgasms occur as frequently as Haley’s Comet? Do you think that women who reach orgasm every time they have sex have been born with this ability? Well, don’t be fooled! Achieving orgasm is a skill that takes practice to perfect. It is a problem that affects many women but, often we feel uncomfortable discussing it or we simply think it is our problem only. The inability to achieve orgasm, or what is known as inorgasmia, is the most common sexual complaint among women. Studies show that more than 63% of all women experience inorgasmia once in their lifetime. Inorgasmia can be classified into the following categories: primary, secondary, situational and coital inorgasmia.            

                Primary inorgasmia is defined as a condition in which a woman has never experienced an orgasm. Secondary inorgasmia is defined as a condition in which a woman has experienced an orgasm in the past, but is unable to experience an orgasm presently. Situational inorgasmia is defined as a condition in which a woman is unable to experience an orgasm during intercourse.            

                Contributing factors that affect the female sexual response can be physical, behavioral, emotional or organic. Physical factors that affect inorgasmia may be lack of pubococcygeal muscle tone (a muscle responsible for vaginal tone), pressure sensitivities in the vagina, or a couple’s “pelvic fit.” Behavioral factors may include a woman’s inability to communicate her desires with her partner regarding such issues as stimulation, timing (slow/fast), and touch (hard/soft), that may help her successfully achieve orgasm. Emotional factors that affect a woman’s ability to achieve orgasm can range from anger to depression to guilt. Organic factors may be due to a precipitating disease, such as diabetes or alcoholism.           

                 Treatment for women who experience inorgasmia can be conducted in group, couple, or individual therapy. Early behavioral therapeutics may consist of using erotic literature with directed masturbation techniques. Sexual dysfunction therapists may use enhancement techniques in phases over a three-month period. This consists of relaxation, muscle strengthening, dual stimulation, coital positioning and coital pacing. Sexual dysfunction therapists work with the individual and/or couple until the inorgasmia is resolved.          

                  Being in touch with our sexuality, that is, knowing our sexual needs and desires, and being able to communicate them to our partners, is essential to adding intimacy to loving. It is so important for women who cannot achieve orgasms to know there are specialized therapists, who can help, so satisfaction can be achieved. Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor, you are not alone. Also, if you are located in the USA (or are going to be visiting soon) The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), based in Washington D.C. will provide a complete list of qualified sex therapists.          

                 The fact is, achieving orgasm is a vital part of every woman’s sexuality. Seeking the advise of a specialist, becoming aware of the possible solutions and realizing you are not alone is the first step in attaining what is known to many as “happiness is...”