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I am a twin. I would like
to think I am more than that. However, in some ways many people
seem to think that being a twin defines who I am. Even a few of
my friends will preface their introduction of my brother and I to
new acquaintances with “These are the twins “. We are twins, but
we are individuals first. I prefer to be introduced by my first
name, as does my brother and then let our new acquaintances figure
out if we are related. And some people usually do ask if we are
“related.” It is fairly obvious upon seeing us that we are related
so this question acts as an excellent monitor as to the intelligence
of the new acquaintance or maybe it is just a monitor of his or
her eyesight.
I don’t mind talking
about being a twin, although it is not really conversation so much
as question and answer. Invariably, I get the same general questions,
usually in this order:
1) Do you like being a twin?
2) Who is older and by how much?
3) If your brother hurts himself, do you feel it?
The answers are
“yes”, “me by four minutes”, and “no”. Generally these are the first
questions women ask. The question sometimes asked by men and never
women is “Did you ever switch girlfriends and not tell them?” Again,
this question serves as an excellent monitor as to the intelligence
as well as the morals of the new acquaintance. I will not dignify
this question with an answer although I would certainly ask my girlfriend
first if it were okay. I’m kidding of course and I do not currently
have a girlfriend. I assume that having a clone of oneself must
be interesting to people that do not, hence all the questions.
Aside from the
question about who is older any other question is a matter of common
sense if one takes the time to think about it. I like my brother
who happens to be a twin so yes, I guess I like being a twin. I
suppose if I could not stand my brother the answer would be no.
But that is not really the point; there are good things about being
a twin and bad things just as there are good things about having
siblings and bad things.
We do like the same things and foods and such.
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However, I attribute this
to our upbringing more than the fact that we have the same genes.
My mother and father exposed us to the same music, motion pictures,
books, foods, etc. as children so naturally we are going to have
a similar disposition to these things as adults. As children, one
is a constantly and continually with the other twin so all the experiences
are bound to be similar in interpretation. My younger sister generally
enjoys the same food as me although my older brother’s diet seems
to consist on mainly peanut butter and chicken. I can not explain
my older brother, actually nobody can.
Because of the life
long grouping of us, my brother and I have taken steps to retain
our individuality. After high school we attended different colleges.
That was four years were I was myself. Nobody knew I was a twin.
Consequently, the natural icebreaker of “Do you like being twins?”
was gratefully gone. So when I met women at school, I did not have
the luxury of being a twin to be that natural icebreaker.
People grew to know and
like me for who I was. I guess that’s why I spent so many weekends
studying and restudying and doing my laundry. These days my brother
and I make sure that if we are going out to a bar or a party we
certainly make sure that we are wearing different colored shirts.
If I show up at his apartment with a white shirt and he is wearing
a white shirt he changes to a completely different color, such as
beige, to help differentiate us from one another.
We do not completely
go out of our respective ways to be different; just enough so as
not to interfere with our individual personal preferences. Having
a twin, at least in my case, is like having a very close friend
who just happens to look like me. Other than being the ideal organ
donors to each other, there is nothing unique about my brother’s
and my relationship that any other close siblings could not experience.
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